My Fabulous Day With Miss Vera
I just needed to thank you. I had an absolutely fabulous day. For weeks I had been thinking up every possible reason why I should cancel, including that good old Catholic guilt that this was not something one should do. I was scared to death. But my experience was wonderful and I am so glad that I did it.
Until yesterday, I was really just a hairy guy in a dress. Only my wife had seen me like that. I would usually stay dressed for a few minutes, and then I was done. Y'all just made me feel so special. From the beginning, you treated me with respect. Once I arrived at the Academy, I didn't have a second thought about doing it.
And you actually made me feel beautiful. I could have sat in that chair forever, getting made over and knowing that I looked pretty good. It was great knowing that the dresses I chose were good choices, and that others liked them and that I looked pretty good in them. (Though I now realize I can go a little too short, a particular problem if I am getting in and out of cabs).
And the Academy was able to help give me a bit of a figure. I've long liked wearing a corset. It helped me feel feminine, if only for a few minutes. But I had never worn one quite that tight. I'm guessing that is the way they are supposed to be worn. And I must say, I enjoyed it. I loved how it felt and I really loved how I looked in it.
The photo shoot itself made me feel like a princess. I felt pretty. I felt feminine. You took photos that I am proud of. And I seem to photograph far better as a girl than I do as a guy. I could see during the photo shoot process that I still have some work to do. I still need to be as free and unencumbered as I hope to be. To have a little more fun posing and giving the looks you were looking for. I need to find that sexy pout. And that sultry look. And to tease the camera more. Now I want to learn all of that as well.
I also really enjoyed the walking class. There is much I still need to learn there. I had no idea how much I needed to learn. Before I came, I assumed walking in heels just meant being able to take the steps without tripping. Now I know I have to walk with poise and confidence. I know there is purpose to my steps and my movements. I'm having to think of smoothing my skirt when I sit down and always thinking of keeping my knees together as I'm sitting. I had to think about how I am presenting myself and which way I am pointing my body. And I had to really think about getting into and out of that cab. I am afraid that when I got back to the hotel, I gave all in Times Square an unintended show. I had to slide across the seat to get out on a side different than the one I got in on. I know I flashed a little panty. And I certainly gave a nice little ass shot to the cabbie. So be it.
We ended up staying for dinner. You were right. The staff at the restaurant was wonderful. They treated me like a lady. While I felt a little uncomfortable at first, thinking that everyone was staring at me, particularly a table with two older couples, I relaxed and enjoyed myself. I was able to spend some time chatting over dinner, and doing it as Bianca. We talked about different issues. And we had fun. If you can believe it, I then spent a little time walking around the neighborhood. I enjoyed it! I felt good. And I felt feminine and a little pretty.
We had talked at the end about those fantasies and desires. Mine now seems a little silly. I really just enjoyed the process. It is something I want to do again. But at some point, I want to be pretty enough that someone buys me a drink in a bar. Whether I can ever get that sort of attention, I don't know. But a girl can dream, can't she?
My wife is already talking about how we should go to the Night of 1000 Gowns ball this spring that you mentioned. So of course, it already has me thinking and worrying. Where would I get a gown? Could I wear a tiara? Is there any way I could get Shannon to do my makeup again? And how in the world would Julia teach me to dance in heels?
I spend my typical days and nights being the one who has to make all the decisions and be the one who always takes charge. For a day, I was in someone else's hands. It was tough to let go, but I was just thrilled with the results. I can't wait to see the photos from yesterday. I want to start thinking of the next time I do this. Maybe a bridal photo shoot? Is there another class of yours that would be good for me.
As I said, I am usually in control. You saw how nervous I was about just going to the courtyard or going to dinner. So it amazes me that the Academy was able to get me to take photos in what was essentially my lingerie. And I enjoyed it! I loved the look. I didn't feel fat. Surprisingly, I think I felt most beautiful in those photos that in any of the outfits that I wore. I honestly felt sexy for that part of the shoot. And I would have never thought there possible.
So thank you for just an incredible weekend. I really do want to do it again. And we may very well be going to that ball now. I may need a white lingerie set, including a new corset, for that. I guess it all depends on what gown I can find. Perhaps I need something that goes with this new blonde persona I am. I never thought of Bianca as a blonde, but it very well may be my new look. I almost hate giving the wig back, and may have to look to the Academy to help me find my own hair to pull off future looks.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Hugs and kisses, Bianca
Photos by Judy Schiller